With the new changes, i would just add my opinion. Overall, its the right direction, but its not perfect.
I really like the q change on cooldown, its adds alot of the needed cc, and its the best to max first for jungle clearing.
The w, % dmg is great because % is always great, however mao doesnt get the full benefit of it like elise % dmg. ON elise, the venomous bite has no cost, is good dmg and free, unlike mao, its a bit costly to keep using it in jungle, and on top of that most magic pen items are not easy early game buys on him due to his need for mana in his ult. SO sadly you cant max it first and take real advantage of that % dmg.
IN addition that range nerf on w is a bit too harsh, it needs about 1/4 of the range back. This alone can keep him from succeeding as a tier one champ.
This brings us to the e change, yes its great it has a slow, but its unrealistic to think mao can hit someone with it then use his w. Anyone with a dash or escape is just gone. And when mao throws the e, he has to stop running, and makes it super telegraphed and easy to dodge. The speed has to be faster and he needs to keep moving to throw it, otherwise its the easiest dodge. But really as far as ganking goes, it totally sucks, especially because maxing e first is much worse than maxing q to jungle clear.
As far as the r change goes, i think its the best idea overall. The only thing that i find as a possible problem is that you can go into the jungle, pop the ult, get it to max dmg, then if you gank, you can frontload the ults dmg as an assassination/burst tool. Its hard to get the dmg for this without being too squishy, but its doable.
OVerall assessment is i like it, but the synergy isnt right. For ganking you really want to max w or e first, but its just too costly and slow for jungle clearing. E needs to qol change, its super low and easy to telegraph, it needs an update. Its also weird for him these days because jungle items dont really synergize, he needs max mana no mana recovery in the jungle. and frankly with the items currently, you get pretty second rate recovery, and no max mana items. Lastly he cant solo a dragon at lvl 10 for his life, thats a huge problem for any jungler, you should be able to do this to be viable. Its a start, but there needs alot more work in it.